The first person we told that we were pregnant was...

...our landlord. This is not how I imagined it would be.

Let's go back to Friday morning. I went to the doctor for the first time and saw/heard our baby. It has a 150 bpm heart rate and looks like a blob, but it was not a figment of my imagination. I am, in fact, pregnant.

My husband has had a hard time not telling people that we're pregnant, but I asked him to wait to tell his best friend/parents until after we heard the heartbeat. I keep hearing about people who reveal their pregnancies so early, and it would break my heart if I had to tell all of those people that I had a miscarriage. I visited a friend last weekend who is currently pregnant, but who had a miscarriage just shy of 12 weeks.

Now that we are pregnant, we need to move. Our current apartment is nice, but it is too small. Our landlord was super nice about us leaving. It won't be a problem to move. However, I can't believe the first person I told that we're expanding our family was someone to whom we're not terribly close or related to.

My husband left a voicemail for his best friend. I texted my good friend (the one I mentioned above) the word "baby." She's at a family event right now. I wonder if she will catch on. We're planning to tell our parents in person over July 4 weekend. After that, I'm not planning on telling anyone else until we hit 12/13 weeks. Then I'd like to start calling family members and friends. We'll eventually put something on Facebook.

A close friend from school asked me whether I was pregnant on Friday. It was not totally out of the blue -- she knows that we are trying and that I didn't drink at dinner. I lied. I had to lie to my good friend last week, too. I'm just not ready for everyone to know when this tiny embryo is still so precarious.

I started buying looser clothes. I finally found a maxi dress that looks nice on me, and will continue to look nice as I blow up. At least I get to look cute, right? My nausea has mostly subsided (at least for now), so was able to eat like a normal human being today. Here's hoping tomorrow is even better.

Over the sea

My stomach was not feeling so great yesterday. I think it was a combination of low-grade nausea and a sour stomach. I've been keeping Sea Bands in my backpack since I discovered that I was pregnant, and yesterday was the first day that I had used them.

Here's the thing about Sea Bands: they're not particularly attractive. They look a lot like sweatbands. 

They feel tight on my wrists for the first hour or so, which makes me want to take them off. But once that feeling passes, I feel better. I was able to pay attention in class, although I was slightly distracted by my own fashion choice. Since you have to wear one Sea Band on each wrist, the effect is a little silly. Maybe I will buy a second pair so they don't have to match. Maybe I can put some bracelets over one. 

I was a little worried that people noticed that I was wearing Sea Bands, but honestly, I don't think that most people know what they are or use them regularly enough to jump to any conclusions about why I was wearing them. 

Still, I worry. I have been skipping out on informal bar reviews for a while now, and I have been trying to set up lunch dates rather than drinks dates. I hope that I can keep this up for six more weeks or so.

Keeping secrets

By far, the toughest thing about being pregnant in law school so far is hiding it. Unlike most of my classmates, I am taking classes this summer in order to lighten my load in the fall semester so that I can do a special part-time internship. Exhaustion really kicked in this week. After my longer days of class, I immediately brushed my teeth and went to bed. I did not have the energy to set up my computer or do anything else for days.

There was a miniature bar review this week that I set up, but I ended up not going because I was so exhausted. I have started to feel better in the last couple of days, but I am definitely not at my full energy levels. We're having a barbecue at home this weekend, which will be my first test drive for fake drinking and staying awake in front of other people.

The next problem will be clothes. While I can make do with my pants and bella bands, I tend to wear my T-shirts kind of tight. I wandered a few clearance sections today to find looser shirts. I know that I have not yet gained any weight, but I do not want to suddenly start wearing breezy tops one day because people will notice the sudden shift in wardrobe. I figure that I can slowly work them in over time. 

We have not yet told anyone that I am pregnant. I have one very good friend at school that I would like to tell, but I still think it is too early. A friend of mine suffered a miscarriage, so I am acutely aware of the possibility of losing a baby. I had told myself that I should not get too attached, but it is hard not to. It is growing inside of me! Having this baby will require a lot of planning that I have to start right now. I am very hopeful that things will continue to go well, but if they do not, I do have a great support system in place. I just need to tell them first.

An introduction

For most of my life, I have tried to avoid pregnancy. Until recently, it was not time for me to have a child. But after three months of trying, I am pregnant. I am also a 3L. I am due in the middle of the spring semester.

You might think that getting pregnant in law school is a stupid idea. Well, maybe it is for most people. But I have already had a career. If I wait to have a baby when it is the "magical time" that no one can define, I may not be able to conceive a child. I have a wonderful, supportive husband who has a job that can support us. Most of all, we are ready to be parents.

We're in good company. In a recent Motherlode column, KJ Dell'Antonia wrote about this phenomenon. Other women who have done this before me have blogged about the experience extensively. My favorites have been Lag Liv, Lacefields in Love and Attorney Work Product. I have read nearly every forum post about pregnancy in law school. Plus, my last gynecologist had two babies while in medical school. It can and has been done.

It is still very early in my pregnancy, but I am very hopeful that the little appleseed keeps growing. In the meantime, I am trying to figure out the details of when he or she arrives -- can I graduate on time? What will my classmates say? Will I be this person?

This blog is dedicated to all of the women who think that what they are considering is crazy. Let's blaze a trail that will make other women feel supported in their decision to expand or create a family when it works for them.